Unpause the Screen Please

It looks like Ubisoft is having a little trouble getting the sequel to its cult hit Beyond Good & Evil into the grubby hands of its fans. Now I haven’t actually beaten the first game, but I do like what I’ve played. I mean who doesn’t like unraveling the mystery behind a corrupt government? Very little is known as to why the game is on hold, but it’s very unfortunate that a another good game (put it back on the list with Psychonauts and Okami) may never get that sequel it deserves. [Source]

X-Men Origins: Magneto is also on hold once again. David Goyer, the producer trying so hard to make Magneto’s silver screen story a reality, revealed that a writer’s strike and the lack of lead actor contributed to the film never making it to production. Goyer remained hopeful and said, “I'm sure that project will move forward in the next year or so" (Translation: maybe in 3 years we will tease you again with the prospect of a Magneto Movie). As you may already know, I was in opposition to X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but I can’t deny the endless laughter that I enjoyed from watching that movie, so I can't wait to see how they will butcher Magneto’s life story too. [Source]

Spider-Woman Agent of S.W.O.R.D. Review

Yesterday while I was reading my friend’s Game Informer I noticed a small blurb about Marvel’s new Motion Comic series featuring Spider-Woman. According to them, the Motion Comic might be the new way of story telling that could take the comic book to a whole new level. I tried to get more information on this “innovative” new series, but no one had too much to say about it other than buy it on iTunes. So like any prepubescent teen, I caved to peer pressure and I did (my mom would be so ashamed of me right now). It was a whole $.99, I know big spender right, but our friends at marvel know how the seedy underworld of comic books work. The first score is free (or in this case cheap) and then when you’re hooked raise the price. If you liked the first episode its going cost you $1.99 to score another hit of the sweet sweet Spider-Woman that you love.

Now let me just say I know absolutely nothing about Spider-Woman other than she shoots electricity that’s not really electricity. I tell you this to say that I will be relinquishing my nerd card for this review and take the position of the average joe. Before the nerd card goes away I have to mention that this story takes place right after the events of the Secret Invasion and Jessica Drew finds herself trying to figure out what to do with her life. Should she rejoin the avengers or perhaps join a new organization named S.W.O.R.D. who basically tell her, “We want you to beat the crap out of the aliens that hurt you and we want to pay you to do it” (judging from the title, I wonder which team she will pick). One last thing, Spider-Woman Agent of S.W.O.R.D. is written by Brian Michael Bendis author of the Ultimate Spider-man series and what I’ve discovered is that people either love him or hate him which means if you don’t like any of his previous works odds are you’re not going to like this one.

What’s a Motion Comic?

It’s basically a still frame shot that movies occasionally, whether it’s moving cars in the background or Drew raising her cell phone closer to her face. The whole thing really presents itself as a giant monologue except when Drew talks to another person (then it becomes a dialogue). Also, our friend Jessica Drew got some complaints for having a british accent, but since I have no previous attachment to her all I can say is that her voice over was good. In fact, everyone’s voice over was good.

Art

Alex Maleev did an excellent job of drawing beautiful characters and detailed backgrounds. This episode of Spider-woman has Drew battling feelings of hatred and despair and the dark backdrop perfectly captures those feelings. Another aspect of Maleev’s art style that I enjoyed was that his drawings were very sharp with heavy distinct lines and good shading.

Music

Nonexistent!!! I would have really liked to have heard some ominous music to compliment the the somber tone of the comic, but I guess I’ll have to settle for the appropriate noises in the background like cars whizzing by an open window.

Writing

Its good, but I like Brendis so take that with a grain of salt. I will say that a couple of times when I was fully immersed in Drew’s monologue about her tragic life she would say a word like do-hickey and I would instantly snap out of the world Brendis so carefully tried to create.

Final Thoughts

The word on the net is that the Motion Comic is going to bring something new and creative to the table and while it may be true that it’s new for marvel, it is in fact old, very very old. The animation and art style reminds me of one of my favorite TV shows, The Maxx, that aired on MTV in 1995. It had a similar look and feel as Spider-Woman Agent of S.W.O.R.D. and frankly I think The Maxx did everything a little bit better. That’s not to say Agent of S.W.O.R.D. isn't good, I’m just saying there is room for improvement. Spider-Woman's motion comic is about 10 min long and though I would like to see how this story plays out I’m way to much of a cheapo to pay $1.99 for each episode. Maybe when Marvel comes out with the first Motion Comic omnibus for a reasonable price I’ll buy it. Until then, I can only imagine what kind of misadventures Spider-Woman will be having.

I’m giving Spider-Woman Agent of S.W.O.R.D. 4 bioelectric blasts out of 5

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review

Oh G.I. Joe, how do I feel about your movie? I think the word that sums this summer blockbuster up is meh. I can understand why all those big movie reviewers (who get paid to do this stuff) gave this movie such a low score. The acting is bearable, the music wasn’t noticeable, and the visuals were just something else and based on those criteria it deserves the D rating that it got from so many of my peers. But I actually like bad movies...I’m talking to you Dead or Alive and Doom, so what’s my take on G.I. Joe you ask?

Acting/Writing

Like any good (or bad as it may be) B movie the acting must be terrible or the dialogue must make you cringe because you know that no one in real life would actually say that. In G.I. Joe’s case the acting wasn’t good enough to merit praise, but it wasn’t bad enough to warrant laughs. Clearly it’s not the actors fault for having terrible lines, but I’ve seen clichéd lines pulled off very well...in cartoon; so I don’t see why movie stars who make a living of this sort of thing can’t do it too. In regards to the writers, they obviously wrote this movie more for the general public and less for the G.I. Joe fans, probably because they thought they had a chance of actually making a hit (laughter in the distance). I think if they had stuck more to the G.I. Joe mythology the movie would have popped a little bit more and maybe would have gotten a big cult following by the fan boys; instead, the movie was a wash because of its blasé attempt to appeal to everyone.

Special Effects

Ok I’ll admit that the special effects are what saved this movie for me. I get very bored very quickly and the fact that I only checked my watch twice during the movie is a testament to how visually crazy and appealing the movie was to my senses. I will say that in two years when the graphic technology advances, this movie will look like a flashy steaming pile of poo. I would say that 87% of the scenes in this movie seemed to have computer generated backdrops and 100% of the scenes had some kind of glowing very not real looking gizmo in it.

Final Thoughts

If you’re a fan of G.I. Joe you have to see this movie, but I have to recommend you wait till it makes its way to the cheap theater where people shout at the screen and have loud conversations on their cell phone, but its a $1.75 so why complain. You can also wait till it comes out on DVD and rent if for a dollar at a redbox and if you’re really not that into G.I. Joe wait for it to play on TBS. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

I’m giving G.I. Joe 2 YO JOES!!! out of 5

Oh wait, did I forget to mention the ninjas? Well they weren’t that special, but if you combine them with the warm fuzzy childhood memories of me playing with my cousins G.I. Joe action figures I’m going to have to bump this movie up a notch.

3 stealthy ninja throwing stars out of 5

The new score is a 3 out of 5 for those of you not paying attention

Do You Wanna Date My Avatar...Yes I Do!!!

First off YAY!!! I’ve been in love with this video since the second I watched it on my friends XBox 360 and I’m super happy it made its way to youtube. The song is catchy, the choreography is actually good, and the overall production value is great. Even though I'm a fan of free things I will advocate that we all buy this song off of iTunes or Amazon so we can support the Guild and catch the 3rd season of the Guild starting August 25th.

Side Note: If this song ends up on DJ Hero or Guitar Hero I think my head might just explode out of sheer rapture.

We’re Just Not Compatible Anymore

So as you may know the big buzz around the gaming community is that the PS3 is going on a diet and she will be ready to show off her slim sexy new body some time before Christmas. Not only is she going on a diet, but she’s also going to be cheaper then ever before ($299 you hussy). Despite her new vivacious curves the PS3 seems to be getting a lot of flack for not being backwards compatible (BC). From what I’ve gathered Sony representative John Koller announced that, “It won’t be coming back,” because the PS3 has grown big enough in the market to not need gimmicks like backwards compatibility to sell systems. So my question to you out there in cyber land is why are you so angry about the PS3 not being BC?

From what I’ve read on the net, people want to keep their massive collection of PS2 games and thats fair, but who said you had to throw out your games or your PS2. Is it really so hard to put your PS2 in a box and pull it out to play with when overwhelming nostalgia hits you? Because that’s what I do with my N64 and Genesis. Also, considering that the PS3 is $300 cheaper than its original price tag, don’t you think the BC feature would have made the PS3 Slim more expensive and less slim? As I recall, people have been complaining about the high price of a PS3 since its conception and now that it’s cheaper people still don’t want to buy it because a feature that will make it more expensive isn’t included (Ahhh so irritating). I for one am all for the PS3 Slim and the decision to keep backwards compatibility out of the picture. I can’t wait to get my hands on inFAMOUS, Katamari Forever, and one day in the distant future Kingdom Hearts 3 now that the PS3 is within my budget.

[Source]